We all met at Who’s for brunch one beautiful Saturday morning at 11:00am, a place where the waiters all wear footie pajamas, it feels slightly like having a cute Frenchmen serve you breakfast in bed, only you aren’t alone in your bedroom, you have 30 other people in bed with you. (that could be fun) The brunch is actually a buffet, but French style with croissants and chocolate spread, cheeses and crepes, fruit and eggs. The best evah!

Anyway, after three and a half hours of chatting, eating, and drinking the most delicious coffee, this one woman said she had to leave early (What?) because she had a massage scheduled. My ears perked up at the sound of a massage and I told her I had not been able to find a good massage in Paris. They just press on your body, not rub and kneed your muscles.

“Ahhh, this place is different, they give you a Thai massage, ever had one of those? You can have a traditional deep massage or if you are feeling adventuresome, have a Thai Massage.”

Of course being an adventuresome person and wanting to experience all sorts of new things, I was game. We left the restaurant leaving our friends to finish up their coffee and headed down the street from Hotel de Ville through some small streets in the section called the Marais and ending up in front of the Thai Home Spa.

Walking inside you are hit with an extreme sense of peace and Zen quiet. In a gentle voice the man asks if you have an appointment and I whisper back to him, “No, do you have anything available?” And he nods slowly extending his arm to the left, he ushers me into the side room where they take off my shoes and put a pair of slippers down for me to put on.

I follow the serene faced Thai woman down the stairs to the darkened rooms below where I am placed inside an area with a mattress covered in flowers, sectioned off by bamboo  shades that roll down to give each room a feeling of privacy. I am asked to put on a huge pair of pants with a tie that loops around my waist plus a shirt that would fit the hulk. I obey and am left to change, then lie on the mattress placed on the ground and breath deeply.

In walks the slightly built woman who looks down at me with a smile. I can’t help feel like I am in a James Bond movie, you know the scene where there is a beautiful woman smiling at him and she suddenly becomes evil and tries to kill him? “The names Blonde, Jane Blonde” (okay, I know my name is Lisa, but “the names Blonde, Lisa Blonde” just does not work)  Anyway, I kinda felt like that.  She looked so delicate, sweet and innocent but you know she is about to take your body,  twist the crap out of it and make you scream in utter pain.

She began with cleaning my feet, legs, arms and hands with scented lilac water. Ahhhh, nice and relaxing , a little massage on my feet, then she moved to my arms and neck. But suddenly she begins to twist my body like I’m a friggin’ rag doll.  First my leg is being twisted and wrenched in all sorts of directions that I thought were not possible.  One leg is pushed all the way into the front part of my body while she is pushing down on my other leg pressing it to the floor. Ow! Then she twists my leg at the hip, folds one leg over the other and pushes it into the floor.  She flips me over onto my stomach and grabbing both hands pulls my arms back causing me too lift up off the floor arching my back towards her.  Wait, is this what my daughter the contortionist does while training?

The bottom line is, my body was tangled, twisted, braided and stretched to the limit but when that little tiny Thai woman was finished with me and I walked out the door,  I felt like a new person, a bit taller, a bit more peaceful and a huge smile on my face. Thank you random Thai massage woman, you are the best!